My Hero

Last weekend my wife went away with some friends for their annual girl trip, leaving me home alone with the children. Historically, this is a stressful weekend for me for at least three reasons:

1. I can't cook.
2. I have three little kids who know I can't cook.
3. I'm a slug getting ready in the morning and am usually late wherever I'm going. Needless to say, making sure everybody gets their cereal eaten, teeth brushed, and mohawks gelled slows things down even more.

So on Sunday morning we were getting ready for church and things were really humming. While the kids were eating their Captain Crunch, I decided to use the bathroom in an effort to use the time most efficiently. But when I went to flush the toilet, bad stuff started happening. The thing started to back up, and as the water surged to the top I remembered spotting two empty TP rolls on top of the same toilet the day before (kids use a lot of TP). I scrambled to find a plunger and began working frantically to remove the clog, but nothing was happening. There was a monster wad of TP fouling up the works, probably a couple of tree's worth.

As I was doing my best impersonation of a plumber, my youngest child came running down the hall exclaiming, "Daddy, I need to go potty."

"Hold on a second" I said, wiping the sweat off my brow.

Apparently, he took what I said literally. Before I knew it, he was whizzing his pants right beside me.

A minute or two later, my daughter came in and said, "Daddy, I don't have any clothes to wear."

I think she might have walked through the pee, but at that point it didn't matter. I was in a daze, wondering at what point things had gone so terribly wrong.

My wife deals with this sort of thing everyday, plus all the mundane chores like dishes and laundry. She manages our home with a smile on her face and rarely raises her voice, even though she feels like screaming several times a day. And she even finds time to stop by my office when she's in the area to give me a kiss and a cup of coffee.

Kathy, you're my hero.