Portland Drivers, Take 1

Look. I think road rage is a sin. A guy going ape-crazy, waving his arms and screaming obscenities at his windshield because a little old lady in front of him is going 32 in a 35 is a dark, messed up thing. It doesn't make anybody any better, especially the angry fella. He's a quadruple bypass waiting to happen.

That said, I get it. I live in a city whose drivers drive with no sense of purpose. Just this morning, I got stuck behind a guy who I figure decided to go for a drive with the sole intent of slowing down to let people in. I could just imagine him, sitting at his breakfast table, drinking coffee and reading his newspaper, when he's struck with an epiphany. "I know what I'll do today!" he thinks out loud. "I'll go for a drive and make a lot of stops so people can get in. I'll do it at intersections, freeway on-ramps, and driveways. This'll be great!"

So there I sat, completely stopped behind him on a busy street, while he allowed the minivan in front of him to pull to the curb, drop off a passenger, and pull back out into the street as he smiled and waved.

I managed to keep my cool, but was feeling pretty annoyed by the whole situation. I gently tapped my horn (O.K., maybe it was a 5 second honk), and the minivan pulled back onto the street only to resume at a speed 5 miles per hour under the legal limit.

Welcome to Portland.